I’ve been blessed with a few great friends. Not your average, run of the mill, see everyday at work friends, or those that you can go out and have drink or two with and reminisce about the previous weekends shenanigans friends. I’m talking about the ones that you rarely see, can talk to pretty much everyday, even if its just to say a quick hi or check in on how their kids are doing, or not talk to them for days at a time and nobody takes offence. The ones that when you need them to be there, they will be regardless the situation. The ones that would drop everything in order to help you. The brutally honest friends, the ones that are not afraid to tell you what it is you need to hear, not what you want to to hear. Not because they want to hurt you or make you cry, but they do it because they genuinely love you.
It was going through my own struggles recently that I discovered that all of my female friends have been victims of domestic violence in one way or an other. Now, let me repeat that. Not some, but all.
It blew my mind. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, how is this even possible? How can this happen? Why on earth are so many women victims of such heinous acts?
I am ashamed, I am disgusted, I am mortified, and I feel an incredible sense of sorrow and guilt for all the women out there.
I have never treated my partners with anything less than the respect any human in a relationship deserves. My ex-wife can even testify to this fact. In the 13 years together prior to our divorce, I never raised a hand to her, never threw out nasty name calling when upset, never played games with her mind and emotions to make her feel like less than a woman. Did we fight? Sure. Not often, but we did. But we always respected the boundaries of decency and common sense.
I’m not trying to sit here an say I am “perfect”. I am not. I have my faults. Plenty of them. But there are limits to my ability to hurt people, especially the ones I love.
Women are to be cherished, loved, made to feel like they are the gifts to us that they are. Are they perfect? No. And even they will attest to that. But to physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually assault the woman you love, well there are no words to adequately surmise how that makes me, and SHOULD make, other men feel. To manipulate, control, have them living in fear, the list goes on, is 100% abhorrent and shouldn’t be happening.
I mean, my mind and heart hurts over the thought that this is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW AS I WRITE THIS POST. A woman is a victim of domestic violence right now.
Think about that guys. And please read carefully and try to understand what I’m about to write next.
If you’re reading this, know that a woman is being struck by her husband. RIGHT NOW. Can you hear it?
If you’re reading this, know that a woman is being berated by her husband for failing to do something as he asked, or simply because he had a bad day. RIGHT NOW. Can you see her, standing there in silence? In fear of the man she loves? That is supposed to love her?
If you’re reading this, know that a woman is being sexually assaulted by her husband. RIGHT NOW. Can you see her fighting him off or even clutching the bedsheets in silence, tears streaming down her face, not making a sound as to not wake the children?
If you’re still reading this, and I hope you are…….know this fact.
That woman I mentioned above is your daughter. Your sister. Your mother. Your grandmother. Any female relative. Your best friends wife. YOUR wife. Maybe not at your hands, but at someone else’s during her life.
I say “is” in the above paragraph because, like it or not, I can pretty much guarantee that most, if not all of them, have experience some level of domestic violence at some point in their lives.
It needs to stop. It never should have happened. It shouldn’t BE happening.
But it is.
I apologize to all the women out there, but I know it’s not enough.
Guys, we need to take control of this. It is not up to the women to convince us this is wrong……
IT IS OUR JOB TO PROTECT OUR WOMEN!!!!!!!!
I will personally apologize to every woman I know for the behavior of men in their past. I am not responsible though for their pain, their nightmares, their suffering. But I am a man, and it needs to start somewhere. Guys, I think you might be shocked by how some will respond to a heartfelt apology, even if you didn’t do a thing to them personally.
It needs to start with us, guys.
It needs to start with us.